She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
