I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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