he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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