just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
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My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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