yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
