Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
