I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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