i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
