I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
