I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do vagina's smell?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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