I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
