I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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