I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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