everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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