So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
