If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
