you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
