is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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