We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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