You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
where does the pee come out of this thing
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
