Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize