How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
