batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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