i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
