yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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