I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
