she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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