it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
