his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
