Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When are your genitals available?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just gargled with NyQuil
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
