I just made out with a guy for $7.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
