we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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