You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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