im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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