Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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