Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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