Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
