haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
