you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
