I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
