I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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