i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize