We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
