You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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