Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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