dude i'm inner monologue high
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
