i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm always down for nudity.
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