i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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