That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
