You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
