i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize