She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
