what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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