its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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