I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
