I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
love makes seman taste better
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
