Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
