If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
