i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I cut my penus on the lid.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize