all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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