be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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