as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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