Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
