I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
