Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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