Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
