Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
try to milk me bitch
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