is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
